


the worst things come from inside here

by minkhollow



Series: protag!Kanji [1]
Category: Persona 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, protag!swap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-24 10:53:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2578949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minkhollow/pseuds/minkhollow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the immediate aftermath of Saki's death, Naoki's floundering.  But then an old friend comes to drag him out of his own thoughts for a while, and ends up dragging him into something much bigger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the worst things come from inside here

**Author's Note:**

> Based on some RP noodling I've been doing over the last while, in which Kanji nets himself the Gas Station Handshake. Whether more fic is going to come from this or not, I don't know yet (it'll depend on how many other story ideas I get along the way).
> 
> I'm not Atlus; I'm just borrowing because I had a burning need for this to be a thing.

Naoki’s not really sure how this whole death in the family thing is supposed to work – the only other one he remembers is his grandfather, and that was a long time ago, not to mention something his parents were sort of expecting. But he’s pretty sure his first thought when the police came to the house at the crack of dawn shouldn’t have been ‘I kind of expected as much,’ and his first thought when his parents said they were keeping him home from school that day _definitely_ shouldn’t have been ‘oh, good, I didn’t get much sleep last night anyway.’

To be fair, he didn’t get much sleep because he realized, around midnight, that Saki still hadn’t come back from the police station, and she hadn’t called either. And then he couldn’t shake the feeling in the pit of his stomach that she wouldn’t ever be coming home; the police saying as much only confirmed what he already suspected. Given how tired he felt after trying to sleep through that nagging worry, and failing miserably, going to school would have been a waste of time.

His dad’s thrown himself into funeral arrangements. His mom’s still calling extended family to break the news, even though the funeral might end up being so soon it’s just the three of them. The media’s hovering right outside the shop, which is busier than it’s been since Junes opened; that would be great if people didn’t keep saying how sorry they are and isn’t it great that the family’s sticking together in this hour of need, and generally making it clear they’re only there because the Konishi family’s eminently pitiable right now.

Truth be told, Naoki’s only in the store on a school day because his dad’s rushing through the funeral stuff. Someone needs to ring people out. He’s half expecting Saki to walk through the door any minute, like she’s just coming back from Kyoto and visiting her boyfriend. He doesn’t want to be there, especially since telling the customers to shut up would end the pity party and lose their business, but school doesn’t sound too appealing either (there’s only one competent teacher at Yasogami anyway; it’s not like he’s missing much), and none of his friends seem to know what to say.

The bell rings, and Naoki sighs, bracing himself for another round of the same platitudes he’s been hearing since yesterday morning – but instead he hears a quiet “Hey, man,” and doesn’t look up until a condolence envelope is placed on the counter.

Oh. Kanji should be okay. They haven’t really talked in a while, not since Kanji decided to answer the bullies by throwing up walls left and right, but he won’t expect more than Naoki feels comfortable doing.

“Hi.” He slides the envelope under the cash register; his parents can figure out how much is in it later. “Guess you guys won’t be able to get to the wake, then?”

“Ma’s not sure, she figured it was better to bring that over now. And, well, uh, I figured you could stand to get outta here for a while. I…” Kanji sighs, closing his eyes for a moment, like he’s trying not to cry. “I know how much this sucks, and sometimes the last place you need to be is the one where you saw ‘em every day.”

So Kanji’s still feeling his father’s death pretty badly. Naoki briefly wonders if his own relative lack of reaction means he’s doing something wrong, but pushes the thought aside. “That’d be good, yeah. I haven’t had lunch yet, and I’m guessing you left school early.”

Kanji shrugs. “It’s just King Moron and Nakayama. I don’t need to know more about her marriage than I already do and I ain’t in the mood for bein’ called a shithead loser waste of space. If it was Sofue-sensei I’d’ve considered stickin’ around.”

“Can’t really argue with that logic. I’ll see if Mom’s done with phone calls for now.”

She is, and when she sees that Naoki has a friend waiting for him, she practically herds him out the door. That was easier than it had any right to be, but he’s not going to complain. If Kanji’s taking the time to invite him to lunch, despite the ‘crabby and terrifying’ act he started putting on in middle school, he must really be worried somewhere in there. He could do with a little genuine concern right now.

They end up at Aiya – no surprise there, they’ve both always liked it and it’s crowded enough that they stand a chance of having lunch without being harangued. The surprise comes after they get their food. Naoki digs in, but Kanji pokes at his ramen with his chopsticks for nearly a minute, then blurts out, “So the weirdest shit’s been happening this week.”

“Weird how?” Naoki asks, mostly because he has a feeling Kanji doesn’t mean the murders – at least, not the murders alone.

The story Kanji launches into is definitely weird. Naoki had heard the Midnight Channel rumors, but didn’t pay them much mind – and now he’s kind of glad, since if he’s following this right, he might have had to watch his sister die. Even if he were ready for it to be real, that would be a little too much.

But the weirdest part leaves Naoki frowning, chopsticks hanging in midair. “You – just making sure, are you sure you put your hand _in_ the TV and didn’t just punch it?”

Kanji rolls his eyes. “I look bandaged enough to’ve punched a TV to you? It definitely went through the screen, man, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. But I don’t know what to do with that now. I mean, ain’t like I’m going to fit all the way through my tiny-ass TV, but if people can get all the way in there…”

“Then either this is going to keep happening, or you feel like you need to do something about it.” Naoki has to grant the point about making this up; Kanji’s always been creative, but this isn’t really his kind of creativity. “Could you maybe test it?”

“Maybe. Not sure I wanna do that alone, though, and… well, the only place I can think of with big enough TVs where anyone can get to ‘em is Junes.”

Kanji stops there, but he doesn’t have to say anything else. Naoki can see the problem clearly. Wishing Kanji luck and going home would be the safer option, that’s for sure, if for no other reason than sparing himself a round of lectures about what is he doing at The Enemy… but what would he do at home?

Sit and stew and stagnate, that’s what. And that definitely hasn’t done him any good so far. Besides, maybe they can find out why this happened, and even if they don’t, Kanji’s going to treat him like normal, not like he’s suddenly made of glass. He could use a little normal while he’s getting his bearings again.

“Okay,” he says, “when do you want to go?”

***

Maybe this shouldn’t have been Naoki’s first trip to Junes – the place is _huge_ , practically its own country, and from that alone he doesn’t want to think about their liquor stock – but it’s not like he could have asked Saki to let him tag along while she was working, or there was anyone else he could have gone with. So he pushes it aside and follows Kanji’s lead to the electronics department.

Once they’re there, he eyes the selection of TVs for a few moments. “Well, some of these are definitely big enough. But I don’t know why they’re even trying to sell them here. I can think of… maybe three families that could actually afford them at these prices.”

“Fine by me,” Kanji says. “Means less people will come back here and wonder what’s going on.” Then he walks right up to the biggest one and – yeah, okay, his hand’s definitely _inside_ the thing, the screen rippling like a pool of water. It’s easily the most surreal thing Naoki’s ever seen.

He doesn’t even realize he’s staring until Kanji looks at him impatiently and says, “Well, you coming or not?”

It’s a rough landing, though in a way Naoki’s more surprised there’s something _to_ land on than he is worried about having hurt anything. They both get up all right, in any case – which may be more than could be said for other people, if the chalk-outline motif on the floor is taken from life and not just random – and then he spots a bigger problem.

“So how exactly do we get out of here?”

Kanji opens his mouth to say something, turns in a full circle, and closes it again. “Well, shit. I guess we’ll figure that part out later. For now we gotta figure out what’s up, though. You think this is where they film the Midnight Channel?”

“Who’d even be filming it? We might be the only people here. If there’s only one person at a time, there’s no one to run the camera.”

“Hell if I know. Maybe we’ll meet someone.” With that, Kanji picks a catwalk at random and starts down it.

The fog is oppressive, the random bedroom at the end of the catwalk is creepy, and by the time they get back to the studio and meet the bear mascot, Naoki’s revised his ‘most surreal’ threshold several times already. He’s not even surprised when Kanji knocks the thing’s head off (probably by accident; it _is_ on the cute side, after all) and there’s nothing inside it; it’s been that kind of day.

The bear’s anxious for them to leave, and even offers to make them an exit, but before he can, Kanji says, “We came here to see if we could find out anything about his sister.”

The bear frowns, or at least gives the impression of frowning (impressive trick, for a mascot suit – but it’s already walking around, so why not make faces?). “Some people have been thrown in here lately, and the Shadows are getting really weird. But you guys already found one place. Are you sure that wasn’t hers?”

Naoki shakes his head. The stuff the bear’s saying doesn’t make much sense, but he knows what Saki likes, and none of it was in that bedroom. She also wouldn’t have had that many enka posters, with or without the faces.

“Then follow me!” The bear bounds off, almost too fast for Naoki to follow (especially with all the fog), and eventually leads them to…

“The shopping district?” Kanji says, sounding as surprised as Naoki feels.

“No, not quite. The sky’s weird. And way too many shops are closed.” Sure, shops have been closing left and right over the last few months, but that’s still only about a third of them total; this looks closer to… everything.

“The sky’s always like that here,” the bear says, but Naoki barely hears him; the sight of his family’s store in ruins is a little distracting. So are the whispers that seem to come out of nowhere.

They’re nothing he hasn’t heard before; how terrible Junes is, how awful Saki is for working for The Enemy – even the one that sounds like his dad isn’t a surprise in that regard. He’d put on a good face, but he was never really all that happy with Saki working at Junes, no matter how many times she said it would help them all in the end.

He’s distracted from the whispers by a bright light across the street, in front of the run-down replica of the textile shop. The bear’s cowering from some obscene-looking striped balls with tongues, and Kanji… wait, what is he doing? He shouts something, and the light gets brighter, and then there’s another thing there and it obliterates the balls. When the other thing disappears, Kanji’s grinning like he just won a brawl – or, more accurately, like he just finished a really cute knitting project.

“What the hell was that?” Naoki says, hoping he doesn’t sound like a total dumbass.

Kanji shrugs. “A Persona, apparently. I dunno, it just. Felt like the right thing to do.”

The bear’s falling all over himself to praise Kanji, but Kanji waves him off with a “yeah, thanks” and turns his attention to the liquor store. “Well, shit. I think we know where your sister ended up.”

“Yeah.” Naoki swallows hard. “I don’t want to go in, but I think we have to, if we’re going to see this through.”

The inside of the store’s a wreck. There are kegs upended all over the place, the cash register’s gone, and the work table’s covered in papers – no, Naoki sees when he goes over to investigate, they’re family photos. Torn-up family photos.

_“Well, I guess if everything else can’t disappear it won’t matter if I do.”_

Naoki freezes. He’d know his sister’s voice anywhere; he’s half expecting her to come down the back stairs, but she doesn’t. It’s just her disembodied voice, like the gossipers and his dad.

 _“No one will miss me anyway,”_ it continues. _“I’m just another cog in the machine at work, Mom and Dad hate me for taking the stupid job in the first place, my boyfriend probably doesn’t want to be stuck with some country bumpkin after all, and it’s not like Naoki actually cares about anything. It’ll be better for everyone.”_

“No, Saki…” he says, before he can help himself. It’s not like that. Nothing’s actually any better with her gone.

**“Oh, please. You know she’s right.”**

Naoki spins around, but Kanji voices the “What the _hell_?” before he gets a chance. He’d swear the thing in the corner is trying to be a clone of him – granted, the yellow eyes and dark blue aura and weird resonance to its voice make it an awful one, but still.

**“You don’t miss her at all, you little shit. Where’s the crying? Where’s the torment? Where’s the grief?”**

“That’s not true! I miss her! She’s my sister, how could I not?”

**“Then start acting like it, why don’t you. If you cared that she was gone, you’d be crying all over everything. If you cared, you wouldn’t have been more worried about sleeping in than being told your fucking sister was dead. If you cared about the store, you’d be there for more reasons than having nothing better to do. If you actually gave a shit about anything, you wouldn’t sit on your ass all the time!”**

It takes a lot to actually make Naoki angry, but this jerk’s done it. “What – who the hell do you think you are to get away with saying that?”

The thing smirks. **“What, it isn’t obvious? I’m you, and you’re me. Nothing more than an asshole who can’t be bothered with anything, and you know it.”**

“You’re… no.” The figure looks more menacing, suddenly, but Naoki can’t stop himself. “You’re not me!”

The figure laughs, and gets swarmed by a black cloud; Kanji pulls what looks like a tarot card from somewhere; and a blinding headache takes Naoki to the floor.

***

“Hey. Naoki! Oh, goddammit – wake up already, will ya?”

“Stop shouting, Kanji.” Naoki sits up, trying to figure out just how long he’s been out. His head still hurts; Kanji broke a sweat somewhere in there, there are scorch marks on the shop floor that weren’t there last he saw, and the thing that looks like him is still there, looking like it’s had the shit kicked out of it.

If it went up against Kanji, it probably did.

“Why didn’t it go _away_?” he says, and winces; it sounds like he’s whining.

“That thing came from you,” the bear says. “These places are reality for the people here, and they pull out your Shadow. It’s things you’ve been suppressing, and if you keep turning it out it’ll just go bearserk again.”

Naoki sighs. He could have done without the bear pun, but he has a feeling that’s far from the last. “I had a feeling, when I realized Sis hadn’t come home, that she wouldn’t be coming back. So when the police said it, it… it wasn’t news. I don’t feel like people on TV do. Even seeing this, it doesn’t feel real yet.”

“Everyone grieves different, man,” Kanji says. “Ma was messed up for weeks after Dad… but I only saw her cryin’ about it once, and she didn’t know I did. No one can tell you how to do this, or when. You gotta get there on your own.”

Oddly, hearing that helps; who knew Kanji could pull a decent pep talk out of his ass? Naoki gets up, feeling like he went through the fight himself, and walks toward the thing.

“I think I get it now. I spend so much time thinking that I never get around to doing anything. The store’s never been my passion anyway, and it felt so hopeless after Junes that I just gave up before I got started. I’m afraid everyone’s going to judge me for not doing this how they think I should. It hurts to say so, but… you are me. Part of me, at least.”

The other him nods, then goes up in a flash of white light; for a second, he can see an imposing black and blue figure with a sack around his shoulders, and then a tarot card floats down in front of him. Hanged Man. Yeah, that’s accurate.

“Sweet,” Kanji says. “Guess I’m not the only one now.”

“Guess not, but why the hell didn’t that happen to you?”

“Hell if I know. Somethin’ to think about later. For now, we should see if there’s anything useful here and then get the hell out.”

“Yeah, you should go home soon,” the bear says. “This world’s not beary good for humans. I’ll make you an exit when we go back.”

“Yeah, sure, but neither of us is gonna want to come back here. So we poke around now and then we don’t have to.”

Poking around does turn up a few useful things, as it happens – a couple large boards that Kanji figures are a better bet for him than punching all the Shadows, some bottles of Mori Ranmaru (they haven’t carried that since Naoki’s grandfather died; he thanks Saki as he sticks one in his pocket, just to have later), and an old broom handle. Naoki’s going to need something to whack Shadows with himself, if they have to do this again – and he’s not about to bet this is over – and he’s messed around with mops and things enough when he was bored and supposed to be cleaning that he thinks he can handle it.

They take it all back to the studio, and the bear – Teddie (of course) – stomps up some TVs and calls them an exit. After making them promise to help figure out who’s throwing people in here and messing up his home, he all but shoves them out the TVs and back into Junes.

Kanji gets to his feet first, and helps Naoki up. “You okay?”

“I feel like you beat me up.”

“Well, kinda. But seriously, man, if you ever need to talk about that shit you know where to find me.”

Naoki smiles a little. “Thanks. But right now, I think I need to go home and sleep.”

For once, and not just because he’s exhausted, he thinks he’s going to sleep well.


End file.
